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The goal of treatment is to allow the child to lead as close to a perfectly normal lifestyle as is possible. This means no, or very few, absences from school, normal exercise tolerance, uninterrupted sleep at night, and a general feeling of well-being. If a child continues to have frequent attacks, and/or regular symptoms, it may be that he is not being treated appropriately, and medical advice should be sought.

In treating asthma, the first principle is to prevent attacks from occuring. If acute attacks do occur, the aim of treatment is to minimise their severity and duration.

From a treatment point of view, children with asthma can be grouped into one of three clinical categories:

Episodic asthma The majority of children with asthma fall into this group. These are children who have symptoms several times a year, almost always in association with a cold or viral infection. They may wheeze or cough for a few days, and respond quite rapidly to treatment. In between attacks, they are in good health, with no symptoms of asthma at all and enjoying an unrestricted lifestyle. These children usually only need to be treated for their acute attacks — in between attacks they normally do not need to take any asthma medications.

Persistent asthma These youngsters will also have a number of acute attacks each year, usually more frequent than those in the first group, but may also have symptoms in between attacks. They may have an intermittent cough, or else a wheeze triggered by exercise. Children in this group are usually given medication on a regular daily basis, in order to prevent acute attacks from occurring. Some children in this group will need to measure their lung function every day with a peak flow meter to make sure that their asthma is optimally controlled.

Chronic asthma This is the smallest group of children with asthma. Their symptoms are often ongoing, and they need to take several medications on a daily basis. These are youngsters who are usually under the care of a specialist. If they are old enough, they will almost invariably be measuring their lung function at least twice a day using a peak flow meter, and their doctor may want to order more complex lung function tests from time to time.

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I just hate the thought that there is a hole right in me. I leave my T-shirt on during sex now. I could never stand the thought of my wife actually seeing the stoma [surgically created opening into abdomen].”

HUSBAND WITH COLOSTOMY

An ostomy is a surgical procedure by which an artificial opening is created in the abdomen so that the urine or intestinal contents flow into a collection sac attached at the sight of the opening (the stoma). There are three basic types of this surgery. A colostomy is most often performed because of cell disease (cancer) of the rectum or colon and in some cases of inflammatory bowel disease and diverticular disease. An ileostomy is most typically done in the case of inflammatory bowel disease. An ileal conduit is constructed to divert urine to a sac because of impaired bladder function, removal of the bladder, or neurological damage in this area.

The effect of the above surgeries is varied, but in general the sexual-response system as viewed from the fourth perspective is left intact. Depending on degree of damage to nerves in the area of surgery, some men may experience erective problems, ejaculatory problems, or retrograde ejaculation. The ileal conduit procedure seems to have the most effect on erection, but even then more than one fifth of the men I interviewed (of a total of 122, including men not in the couples sample) reported no effect on erection. More than half of the men interviewed who had a colostomy (total 38) reported no erective or ejaculatory problems.

Women with ostomies may experience painful intercourse or some change in vaginal sensations. I found that postural adjustments helped greatly in many of the cases of coital pain, as some of the women were unintentionally compensating for the stoma and surgery by moving their bodies in ways that stressed different muscle groups. Of the forty women ostomy patients I interviewed, eight reported painful coitus that they attributed to the surgery. Thirteen, including these eight women, reported a change in vaginal sensations. As with the men, primary concerns were with appearance, partner acceptance, and odor that may come from the stoma.

I have found that the most effective counseling in these cases comes from partners of the patient talking to partners of other patients who have had an ostomy and resumed sexual functioning. This type of surgery requires some time before full physical stamina returns, so again the bywords are to take time, communicate, and move beyond the intercourse and mutual-orgasm orientation. I tell my patients that it is stamina more than stoma that will slow sex down at first.

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This term refers to the emotional and cognitive reaction to the readiness. The changes of readiness are pronounced, as you will learn in Chapters Six and Seven. But the system does not stop there. We can react to our body as much as our body reacts to our mind and emotions. Again, we are talking about a miraculous intimacy system, not a hedonistic hydraulic system.

“I just get so aroused when I see what happens to my body when I am ready to do it,” reported the husband. “I get red-like, full, eager-looking, like a real hunk, you might say. I never look better than at that time. I wish she could see me, but she never looks.”

“I’m not sure what you mean by how do I feel or think when my body gets ready. It just is ready to do it, to receive him. Do you think I should jump up, run to the mirror, turn on the light and look?” asked the wife.

“Sure, just as long as you run to the mirror with your spouse. Better yet, have a mirror and soft light nearby. See what it looks

like when the two of you happen with each other,” was the way I answered her.

The terms desire, interest, arousal, readiness, and excitement have been used so interchangeably that most of the couples found it useful to discuss their definitions. Try it in your own relationship; your communication will become not only wider, but deeper and more connected.

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For orthodox scientists, the most controversial are all spiritual methods, in which some external healer (or even the “patient” himself) controls the healing of the body by influencing the state of mind of the patient, and showing his (usually severely inhibited) “subconscious” mind how to perform the required repair job in the most efficient way.

I do not like to use the term “subconscious” here. In my experience, such a state of mind is in many ways superior to our normal conscious state we are used to in our everyday lives. In my opinion, a better description of it would be a “state of higher consciousness” or a “state of connection to a higher intelligence” or perhaps a “super-conscious” state. No words can adequately describe such a state, which in itself has many levels, some quite close to our physical body and some very far from it. Some initial states of higher consciousness are quite easy to learn, while access to advanced super-conscious states may require many years of or even a lifetime of practice with expert guidance.

Spiritual healing can be the most spectacular of all healing methods, but only when the healer is very gifted, that is, he has access as well as a command of higher states of consciousness. Examples of such healing experiences are so memorable, that many of them have been described in the most important documents of human civilisation such as the Bible and other scriptures, attracting generations of people over many centuries to create and support various religions.

In more recent times, the reader can find many cases of such healing from books written by professional spiritual healers, like Betty Shine for example.

Researchers and scientists hate, deny and ignore such healing, because they cannot “see” the healing mechanism using their instruments, and they cannot create such healing in their laboratories so they can study it. If only they could attain the “super-conscious” state themselves – they would not only understand the process of spiritual healing, but perhaps they would also change their job.

The last statement requires some explanation. Those scientists who negate the existence and consequences of the state of higher consciousness do so simply because they do not have access to it. On the other hand, those who are fully enlightened – never become scientists, because they see very little purpose in developing the physical sciences as we know them today.

To explain this, consider for example why the same scientists, representing the elite of human knowledge

Most of the healing techniques listed above, require visits to highly skilled and informed practitioners. This severely limits access of potential patients to them, especially when the medical education system favours certain doctrines and the legal system creates a tight monopoly for practitioners of such doctrines by making all other practices illegal.

For example, the newly amended Australian health legislation, effective from 1 July 1994, threatens to severely penalise doctors incorporating into their practice techniques of natural health such as nutrition, herbal medicine, homoeopathy, ayurvedic medicine and relaxation as well as meditation-therapy.

In many countries it is illegal to practice medicine without a licence issued by the system, supporting the prevailing medical doctrine.

In view of this, the best choice for all people is learn to heal themselves as well as learn how to avoid diseases in the first place.

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Laetrile is a substance made from apricot kernels and containing a substantial amount of cyanide. For many years now it has been widely promoted as a treatment for cancer.

Repeated studies in the U.S. have failed to show that laetrile is of any value in cancer treatment, and in some states it is banned.

Yet many cancer victims and their families go to a great deal of trouble and expense to cross the border into Mexico where medical clinics exist to fulfil this need.

Few of us are prepared to accept the diagnosis of an incurable disease and many people will be prepared to try almost anything in an effort to seek a cure.

Despite the previously negative response of laetrile in being effective in cancer, public demand made the National Cancer Institute in the U.S. set up controlled trials at four leading cancer centres.

The British Journal, the Lancet, recently reported that the results were now available and showed laetrile to be totally ineffective.

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What sort of lovers can we expect beer-drinkers to be?

Chronic alcohol abuse damages the liver. This can lead to a number of signs and symptoms which help the doctor arrive at the diagnosis when the patient is less than honest about the amount of alcohol consumed. The liver is usually enlarged and easily felt.

Men produce the female hormone oestrogen just as women produce a small amount of the male hormone, testosterone.

The oestrogen is normally broken down by the liver but, when damaged by alcohol, this function is impaired and men may suffer from a build up of oestrogen. This can cause hot flushes similar to those experienced by women at the time of the menopause.

The oestrogen may cause small blood vessels in the skin to dilate and to have small branching vessels coming out from a central larger vein.

These are common on the face and account for the red blotchy visage of the chronic alcohol abuser.

The excess oestrogen may cause shrinkage of the testes with underproduction of testosterone, resulting in lack of interest in sex and poor sexual performance. The breasts may enlarge and body fat be deposited in areas similar to the female.

Of course, liver damage due to other conditions may result in the same problems but, in this community, alcohol abuse is the commonest cause of liver damage and eventual cirrhosis.

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Symptoms: feeling of breathing difficulty, when the child is actually getting many fall breaths of air; tingling or numbness in hands and feet; muscle spasms; fainting.

Home care:

Remain calm and reassure the child.

Have the child breathe into a paper bag placed loosely over the mouth and nose.

Precaution

Rapid, deep breathing that causes fainting has become a party stunt in some circles. Discourage

this kind of game.

Hyperventilation is a breathing difficulty in which too-rapid or too-deep breathing causes a marked loss of carbon dioxide from the blood. There are many physical illnesses that cause difficulty in breathing, including asthma, diphtheria, colds, croup, hay fever, and pneumonia. Hyperventilation, however, is not a physical illness at all. It causes the sensation of difficult breathing or air hunger, but there is no physical condition preventing the person from taking in or letting out air.

Hyperventilation is common in older children, teenagers, and young adults. The person complains, often bitterly or fearfully, of being unable to “get enough air,” while at the same time taking deep breaths in and out with no visible difficulty. The rate of breathing may be rapid or normal. There is no abnormal sound to the breathing as in croup, bronchitis, or asthma. Temperature and color are both normal, and there is no cough. In fact, the deep breathing can be recognized as sighing, one sigh right after another, and lasting for minutes or hours. The cause is essentially the same as that of sighing: nervous tension, fear, anxiety, or depression.

If hyperventilation continues long enough, the person will experience tingling and numbness in the hands and feet, followed by spasms of the muscles that control the hands, fingers, ankles, and toes. This is caused by breathing out too much carbon dioxide. If hyperventilation continues long enough, fainting can occur. Unconsciousness temporarily cures the condition, and the person recovers.

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Obviously the prevention of depression is a vastly complex subject and involves many different facets of life.

•     Prevention begins in the cradle by breastfeeding totally and by ensuring that a child is brought up to feel wanted and loved for itself. The more stable a home life the child has the better, though some instability is inevitable and certainly will not necessarily produce depression later in life. Preventive measures are especially valuable in any family in which there is a history of depression or suicide, if only because clinical experience shows that both are more likely once they have been ‘sanctioned’ already within a family. Attending to a baby’s needs for food, comfort and attention as soon as he or she expresses them makes the baby think well of the world and tends to produce a less frustrated personality.

•     Healthy eating right from weaning will help too, especially in the prevention of hypoglycemia, premenstrual tension and certain other biochemical causes of depression.

•     Social causes are often unpreventable except with endless money, other resources and social engineering, but much can be done to alleviate loneliness and isolation in the young mother. The other social remedies are beyond the range of a book such as this.

•     Keeping off drugs unless absolutely essential is a very good preventive, simply because so many people are on one drug or another that promotes depression. Find other ways (perhaps from this book) of dealing with the underlying problems. Come off the Pill or try adding vitamin B6 if you are depressed while taking it.

•     Understanding what is going on during pregnancy and labour and a feeling that you have a say in what happens to you and your baby will help prevent post-natal depression. Try to choose a hospital that intervenes as little as possible, if only because it has been found that women who have forceps deliveries, Caesarean sections, and so on, have higher levels of post-natal depression than those who do not.

Keep your baby with you all the time, day and night, right from delivery. If at all possible the baby should be exclusively breast-fed for at least six months or so. This reduces post-natal depression in you and sets your baby up for the future both psychologically and nutritionally. Food allergies (now known to be a cause of depression) are less common in breastfed babies than in bottle-feds.

Lastly, watch that you don’t become overstretched physically and mentally. Take care of yourself and don’t push yourself too hard. Learn to relax, eat well.

By no means all depression can be prevented, but with some long- and short-term planning such as this it could be a greatly reduced burden on society and on families.

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